Le Familia, Motherhood, Nadya Raessa

five

My little human is 5 months now. Oh so much joy in this 5 months period.

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Nadya is so so playful now. It’s almost entertaining. She doesn’t sleep much nowadays, the time has come! While she’s still sleeping through the night, her naps are undeniably shorter now and she’s a light sleeper in the day! But a heavy sleeper at night. Heran aku. Naps are usually about an hour if i’m lucky and 15mins if ada abang motor bodoh kat bawah blok aku decide to perah motor dia yang tak seberapa tu. I tell you, you get very very cranky when u have a baby trying to take her nap, only to be woken up by really stupid noises. Especially when you’re making an effort to tiptoe around the  house making minimal noise.

Flipping from her back to her tummy is really easy for her. But she has not started to flip from tummy to her back yet. I don’t know when they are supposed to start doing that, but i honestly don’t care lah. Dia dapat flip one way dah kira bagus. She’s also lifting up her butt now but i think her upper body muscles are not strong yet to lift her body off the ground yet. So i’ll let her be..

Sitting assisted is fine for her for now. I think we still have a long way to go before she start sitting up unassisted.

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She’s quite good at entertaining herself these days. Playing with her pacifier, sampai terhantuk kat kepala and all. And she love playing with her dangling toys. Tak sia2 aku beli benda2 tu. Lol. And they all have their own name. I think i’ve mentioned this before. We’ve given them English names at first. Pas tu mak dia sedar diri dia melayu, takkan anak dia nya kawan2 semua nama mat salleh kan. So we have malay names for her toy as well. Her favourite is Khadijah & Mariam. Nama english dorang Katie & Mary. HAHAHAHAHA.

So far, Nadya reaaaaaaalllly like people. She’ll smile when they smile at them and while it’s cute, this paranoid mummy takut nanti dia dah besar, dia ikut orang yang dia tak kenal so maybe i should teach her to be more jual mahal sikit. Don’t follow strangers, baby!

I’ve kind of started giving her food to taste and today, we’ll be starting her on solid. We’ll start with Potato Puree 1st. I figure since she’ll be turning 6mths really soon and she’s a  full term baby at 40 weeks, no harm in giving her now. Cos she has been really curious when she see watch us eating, it’s adorable seeing her stare at us while we eat.

2015-06-23 21.31.37We also celebrated Father’s Day for Rusly last 2 weeks. We kept it small and simple. I made reservation for dinner at 1Market on the day itself. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah, for allowing Rusly to be a dad. He has been good at it.
Sometimes i wish he makes an effort to do more. Then i see postings of other mummies in some parent groups in FB, complaining about their husband, i really bersyukur that Rusly help out as much as he can. I think it’s not fair for me to expect too much also. So far, he’s comfortable with bathing her, changing diapers, making her sleep at night and all. But he’ll say no to changing poop-filled diapers. LOL

Friendship, Le Familia, Motherhood

Babies Weekend!

So i was overwhelmed with babies and baby-related stuff the last weekend! Sent Nadya to my mom’s place on Friday, took a cab to Expo for the 1st Day of Baby Fair. Took the chance to drop by Robinson’s Travel Bazaar yang tak lah travel bazaar sangat actually cos they were selling some other stuff as well.

I was on a lookout for bigger luggage which we can use for our future trips. It has to be big, lightweight & of a striking colour so that it’s easier to spot!

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Same colour as my Gucci Disco! Got this huge luggage from American Tourister for $119 which was a good deal! Grabbed it and brought it over to the baby fair so i can dump all my purchases in it. I even got myself some WMF pots! No idea where that came from! Lol

1st day of baby fair was quite civil actually. I stocked up on Mustela, bought the 1st Parklon Playmat in Size S but then decided to pre-order another Large size one for Nadya cos it was cheaper than the website and we love the playmat. WIll use the smaller sized one for her play area with fence & balls when she’s slightly bigger. I also pre-ordered the Organic Story Wet Wipes to collect it on Sunday! Bought her swimsuit and took the chance to ask questions on the Moo Moo Kow Cloth Diapers. I was contemplating on switching to cloth diapers cos it’s more environmentally and wallet friendly! So i took the chance to ask lotsa questions.

Then saturday came and we’re off to Farna’s place for our playdate and since we are going to the East side, we took the chance to drop by Eunos to send our fabrics to the tailor for our Baju Raya.

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I love the fabrics i bought for this year raya! Soft colours and most importantly, i get to dress Nadya up as well!

Continue reading “Babies Weekend!”

Le Familia, Nadya Raessa

Open House 2015

After much consideration, we finally did an Open House yesterday. I’m not exactly fond of doing Open Houses cos of the amount of work & effort! The cleaning up too! But since we did not exactly do Majlis Cukur Rambut for Nadya cos we find it unnecessary since we’ve done it at the Masjid already. Takkan nak cukur lagi rambut budak tu for show kan?

Most of Rusly’s relatives have met Nadya because she’s around for the Tahlil but most of my relatives have not and i figured instead of bringing her to them one by one, its best to just do an Open House and invite them over. Also invited some of my friends who have yet to meet Nadya cos i just can’t afford time to do individual lunch dates. We should have named the event Meet The Baby Session seh. Cos really, everybody is just there to see this girl.

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Unrelated but i managed to sew her headband the day before the Open House cos i couldn’t find any existing one that might match the tutu dress she’s wearing, It was a nice Peach Fabric with gold shimmers on it.

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Ordered brownies from Divinefavorz Mall. Was adamant on giving out food items for berkat because i personally like food items. Transactions were fuss-free and i think i ordered these less than 2 weeks before the event! We really did a last minute arrangement which is so unlike me.

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Did the kids goodie bags myself the day before the event. Bought some snacks fro Valu$ and the packaging from SKP and did it in between Nadya’s nap time!

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Managed to order food from this kakak i know off FB few days before the event because i was unhappy with 2 caterers whom i shall not name. But it turned out to be a blessing in diguise because this kakak charged cheaper and her food is so nice! My father cooked the Tulang Merah though. So sedap! Although i only ate after the event because tak senonoh tuan rumah makan tulang. Yums!

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Most of the kueh melayu were given to us by my aunties, ordered from the kakak caterer etc but the brownies & the puffs which are not shown here were bought from J&C Bakery at some Woodlands Industrial area and it’s really the bomb! If you have parties and you need desserts, consider them because it’s really nice! I love love love their brownies and cheesecake. Does not taste factory-made!

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The ONLY group picture i took. Can u believe it!
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One more picture of Nadya, just because it’s her party after all!
Would i do another Open House, for Raya perhaps?

Maaaaaybe. But damn it was so tiring, my legs gave way after the whole thing!

Le Familia, Uncategorized

Our last goodbye.

It took me some time to pen this down. Maybe because i was still in denial. But i really do want to document this down, lest i forget what happened.
Although i really doubt so.

So Nadya turned 1 month few weeks back and on the same day, my MIL lost her battle to cancer.
We found out about her Stage 4 Breast Cancer in November 2014, just 1 week after we got back from our KL Trip together.

It all happened so fast and even though we were already mentally prepared for it, i can’t help feeling devastated about it. It has been 3 weeks since she’s passed away and not a single day went by that i did not think of her and somehow or rather, our conversations will gravitate to “Mummy would love this” / “Mummy used to do this”.

On her 7th day of Tahlil, i broke down in the kitchen because i remembered those times when she would come over our place every week for dinner. The place she would sit at the dining table. The way she said “Alhamdulilah” after her meal and her voice when she picks up her home phone and realized it’s me and she’ll go “Hello, Dyan!” in that unique rhythm reserved for me.

I miss her. I really really do. I’m quite fortunate i’m close to my in-laws. Not the kind of “close for the sake of being close because she’s my husband mum” but really close that we have to meet every week else we’ll miss each other kind of close. Maybe partly cos Rusly is her favourite child and also maybe because she is so easy to get along with.

During her funeral, people keep telling me how i’m such a good daughter-in-law, taking her in to our place while i was heavily pregnant and then during my confinement. What they never realize is how she has always been so so nice to me. She is such a selfless person. Even while she was sick, all she could think about was how tired it must have been for me, having to take care of her in my last trimester. She kept reminding Rusly to focus his attention to me instead of her. Each time Rusly sorta bully me, she’ll come to my rescue. While pregnant, i just have to mention in passing what i wanna eat and she make sure i’ll get it.

Few times she apologised to me for falling sick while i was heavily pregnant. I remembered the day after her 1st chemo, she held my hand, cried and said “Sorry dyan.. Mummy menyusahkan. You’re pregnant.. and you need all the attention and yet i’m taking it away from you” I still cry when i think of her face when she said that to me. 😦

2 weeks before she passed away, she refused treatment. Refused to go for additional ultrasound scan, refused to see her Doctor for consultation. We had the intention of stopping her chemo and let her continue with oral medications instead. We kept promising her that we won’t allow her to go thru chemo anymore and then one morning, my FIL knocked on my bedroom door at close to 9.30am with his eyes brimming with tears saying that mummy can’t breathe. True enough, she was gasping for air. Told her i’m calling the ambulance but she refused. I had to coax her to take the ambulance because i can’t carry her to the hospital on my own. She finally agreed and told me “Please call all my children. I want them with me.” So i called the ambulance and then called all her 3 children including Rusly to hurry up and meet at NUH A&E. I packed Nadya’s stuff, sent her to my mum’s place and head over to NUH A&E.

It was there when the doctor told us her organs are failing, like a domino, they are falling apart one by one.
They placed her in a special room in the A&E, gave us a special pass with “End of Life Program” written on it and told us they would not do any procedure on her. Instead, they want us to stay by her side and say some prayers because at that point, her chance of surviving the day seems very slim. We all cried together in that room. It was so hard for all of us to see her in that condition.

We managed to get her a room, informed all her relatives & friends and everyone came down to see her. Prior to this, she refused visitors. No one was allowed to visit her except for her children. Although a few of her friends actually knew of her condition, she refused to let them visit her. So it came as a shock when they see her for the 1st time. The weight she has lost, the hair she has lost and that cheerful disposition she had.

We requested for a terminal discharge from the hospital to fulfill her final wish – to pass away peacefully at our place.
So we arranged for an ambulance service to take her back to Bukit Panjang, called up some vendors to rent an Oxygen concentrator and arranged for private nurses to come in every day to see her condition. We were also briefed by the nurses on what to look out for, how to inject morphine in her if she’s in pain etc.

The night before she passed away, she was wheezing when she breathe. Even with 15 litres of oxygen support, she could hardly breathe. She was no longer responding when we talked to her. When i held her hand, i noticed tears at the corner of her eyes. I don’t know why but i somehow knew the day is near. That night, we all knew. My FIL requested us to stay by her side and baca Yassin for her before we go to sleep.

At 2.00am, Nadya cried for milk and while feeding her, i remembered thinking if i should wake Rusly up to look at his mom and see how she’s doing. But Rusly looked so tired and was in deep sleep so i dismissed it. What i didn’t know was barely few minutes after i slept after feeding Nadya, his father woke Rusly up because mummy took a long pause each time she breathes. When both of them came back to the room, mummy took her very last breath and passed away peacefully. Rusly’s sister, who slept over that night, woke me up, crying. At that moment, i knew, mummy is gone.

Even though we kind of expected it already, that final moment we had with her was very intense. We called for a doctor to certify the death at 2.55am, went to get the Death Cert done, called all our relatives & friends and arranged for the funeral.

10.00am came and people start streaming in. So did the people arranging the funeral. I asked the kakak in charge if it’s ok fo me to mandikan mayat as well, since i’m still on pantang and ada darah nifas. She said it’s ok. But some of the aunties were telling me not to. Takut i badi.
But really, i think that is the last thing i can do for mummy and i was glad i was part of it. Although i cried half the time and kept kissing her forehead.

Once mayat dah dimandikan and laid on the floor for her closed ones to kiss her and say their last goodbye, i searched for Rusly.
He was crying so hard and i can totally understand why. When it was his turn to kiss his mom, he broke down and kept crying and at one point, stood up to leave because he don’t think he can do it. I had to console him and tell him it is his last chance to kiss his mom and he have to brace himself for this.

By 12.00 noon, we left for the cemetery. Again, the entire family broke down. Especially when i saw her lowered down to the ground with Rusly & his brother down there receiving her coffin. When they started to bury the coffin with more sand till we lost sight of the coffin, we broke down again. I think it really made us realize that we’ll never see her again, or be able to touch her again.

Our only way of grieving right now is to see pictures & the plentiful of videos of her. Somehow, it fills the void of our hearts. But i truly miss her still.
Rusly have been having dreams of her. Once, he woke up crying really hard cos the dream was so real and she seemed so sad. Then few days after, he told me about another dream he had. This time he was happy about it because in that dream, mummy was wearing one of her favourite dress and dancing away.

She will always live in our memories. I will always remember her for her kindness, her need to be prim & proper and her passion for the things she love. Nadya might not be able to grow up knowing her nenek. But she’ll grow knowing how much we love her.
We promised to always tell her stories about her nenek, the wonderful times we had and the amazing person she is.

Al Fateha.

Le Familia, Makan Chronicles, Pregnancy, The Husband & Wife, Third Trimester

KL-Waddling

So we went to KL over the weekend to get my Tony Romas fix. It was a really short trip.
We flew over to KL on saturday on the 8.45am flight and then back to SG on Sunday on the 5.00pm flight.
Thank you Airasia for the many many SIN-KL flights.
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This time round, we brought my in-laws together with us. Although it was a wrong timing cos my MIL sprained her back weeks earlier and had difficulty walking and we had to do many pitstops so she can rest and sit down and take a breather. I almost felt guilty for dragging her to KL just so i can have my cravings fixed. But she said she enjoyed the trip. So i don’t feel that guilty anymore! And to think initially she was worried i would be too tired out from all the walking! But i walked like nobody’s business.

On a sidenote, Rusly’s hair is of the same length as mine now. I think even longer and i’ve been pestering him to get it cut but he refused to listen! Macam nak bakar je rambut dia tau time dia tido.

Our 1st stop right after we landed in KL was to head over to Publika Shopping Gallery.
Initially i wanted to go to Journal by Plan B but we were so hungry by then, it was close to 12.00 noon already, and i was scared if we eat at Journal, then we wouldn’t have space for Gyu-Kaku so we went ahead to Gyu-Kaku instead.

We were the 1st group to come in for lunch so one of the staff Mike offered to help us with grilling the meat etc and i was glad he did that cos that boy is good with his meat! I think if it was up to us to cook the meat ourselves, we’ll probably over-cook it and also cos four of us really macam tak kuasa nak masak mood.

IMG_5204We ordered one of the set and in a second, we were overwhelmed with the amount of meat we have! For a while, i doubt we could finish them all up but yes we did!

Sampai senget-senget.. Jalan pun dah macam lembu.

Continue reading “KL-Waddling”

IVF Journey, Le Familia, Pregnancy, Second Trimester, Special Events, The Husband & Wife

The Raya Announcement

Eid Mubarak!

On this special day, the husband and i’ve decided (at the very last minute) to just go ahead and announce our pregnancy on social media.

To be honest, we only decided to announce because we have friends and family who have been leaving baby-related comments on our social media posts and it’s pretty obvious already. LOL
and also because i’ll need to announce to The Card Maison future clients soon because i’ll have to close orders for April & May weddings soon as i’ll be on Maternity leave in from late December to February.

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So yes, we are finally pregnant! Yaaaaaayyyy!

With that, i have also un-privatised my posts on the The IVF Journey and The Pregnancy.

I first announced my pregnancy a few days after our positive blood test here. So you can now read how excited i was upon finding out.

I’ll be 4 months pregnant tomorrow . Almost halfway through the pregnancy. So fast!

Continue reading “The Raya Announcement”

Le Familia

Balik Kampung!

Not balik kampung per se since i don’t really have a kampung and one of my to-do list is to go to a kampung wedding just for the fun of it.

So last Saturday, me & the family took a road trip to Kota Tinggi for Saridah’s wedding. Saridah’s is my father’s colleague, who has long since regard her as his own daughter. So of course we have to go to her wedding! Never mind it’s about 2 hours  from SG and it was pretty hard to find her kampung but thank god for Abah’s HP, we managed to find the kampung with his GPS. Our car GPS macam tak boleh harap. Lagi sikit dah sesat.

We started the day early at about 9.30am. There was a massive jam and we only managed to pass thru JB Checkpoint at 11.30am.
We finally reached Kota Tinggi at about 1.00pm plus.

Continue reading “Balik Kampung!”