Tekan brake

Happy New Year!!!

So many things to blog about but i’ve been quite busy the past few days!
Wanna blog about the playdates, Nadya’s new house, what we did over the New Year and all. And also my New York entries yg belum habis but mati2 nak habiskan jugak else i’ll forget about everything cos mummy brain game strong here.

I’ve yet to edit some videos into vlogs. Nadya is turning 2 next week and honestly i’ve not planned anything except to order a cake & maybe celebrate it with my family. We have no concrete plans yet. But i might just get Rusly to take 1 day leave so we can have a long weekend with her since her birthday falls on Saturday.

Oh and also our IVF plans! That deserves an entry on it’s own! Soon!



The Travel Tales, Uncategorized

New York Planning II

Two more weeks before we head over to my dream city!
Had a stroke of luck yesterday in the wee hours! A friend initially recommended the Airbnb apartment she stayed in when she was there previously. She loved the apartment cos it was further up from city area but 10mins away by Express train to Times Square. Just 3 stops away je. And the subway station is right across the apartment. Best thing is the affordable price of course.

I love the apartment but unfortunately it was snapped up just as i was communicating with the host. Not our rezeki i feel so i looked around for other apartments. So many swanky apartments tapi seriously mengarut cos most of the them are walk-up apartments. As in takde elevator seh. I don’t mean to sound spoilt but there’s no way i’m gonna climb up to 4th or 5th floor with luggage, stroller & a toddler. It was so hard to find an apartment with an elevator. Those with elevator are usually ones with the doormen kind and go for at least $350 per night which is more or less the same as hotels so macam tak masuk akal. Ada satu apartment i like, tapi takde TV. Apa maksud tu. Nak suruh aku buat anak ke? Lol.

The ones that fit my requirements & budget pulak do not allow kids below 12 due to noise etc. Sighhh. So i booked Row NYC but still halfhearted so i booked and chose the option to pay to the Hotel directly just in case i change my mind. It came up to S$2600 for our 7 nights stay which was slightly above my budget cos i only wanted to pay max $2500 for accommodation. But i was halfhearted cos it’s very near Times Square and noise could be a problem for Nadya. I think it’s already hard enough to get her to adjust to the new timing etc abih kalau too noisy for her, i think she also frustrated.

Then on Monday, i emailed them to ask for late check-out and pro-rated hours cos our flight back is at 23:00hrs and i don’t want us to be stranded with our luggage, i also teringat to confirm if they have a fridge in their rooms. Turns out they don’t! Selamat i asked lah cos if not, where am i gonna store fresh milk for Nadya’s consumption kan.

It was then i browsed Airbnb again to see if i can find something this time round and guess what?? The apartment my friend recommended is available. I contacted the host to confirm it’s available and booked it right away! I asked him how come it’s available and he said he just had a cancellation for that date 1 hr before i msg-ed him. That’s really our rezeki lah cos guess what, the total cost of the apartment is only $1160!! I saved $1440 gaissse. That’s shopping money! Weeeee.


It is a simple apartment. No frills but it fits all my requirement.

  • In a quiet but safe building.
  • Near to Subway stations.
  • With elevator.
  • Refrigerator
  • Washer & Dryer available so we don’t have to bring too many clothes.

Most importantly, it has to be clean and based on the 100+ reviews, the place is neat & clean and everybody loved the close proximity to the subway station cos it’s just 10mins away to Times Square. Yayyy.

So glad our accommodation issues worked out in the end.
We’ve applied for the ESTA, settled our travel insurance as well.

I’ve also booked Dubai International Hotel for our 7hrs transit at Dubai Airport because after 14hrs of flight, baring kat lantai dengan toddler for 7hrs tak kelakar seh. We only book for 4hrs though after reading Farhana’s entry on it, i emailed them and ask for a pro-rated rate and they’re charging $220 for it but to be honest, i don’t care lah janji that 4hrs tu kita dapat tido atas katil. The remaining 3hrs, kita can makan Shake Shack and jalan2 around the airport before we take the next flight out!

I have to go book our Mobile WIFI next and then do up the itinerary. Can u believe i have not done up the itinerary yet! lol. We’ve also decided not to get the New York Pass since Farhana said macam tak worth it sangat. Kita pun not really keen in going in and out every museum etc cos i’m not exactly a museum person and i don’t want to feel like i have to go to certain places just because i’ve paid for it anyway. Maybe next entry i’ll list down the places that i really want to go for this trip cos this entry is getting too lengthy! ❤

Nadya Raessa, Uncategorized


Very random but Nadya was playing with her toys earlier today and i hear myself saying “Ya Allah.. Sayangnya dengan dia.” 

I honestly cannot explain this strange feeling i have so i guess it’s true when they tell you motherhood will teach/show you things you never thought exist. I never understood how it feels like to worry for someone else’s well being until i had Nadya.

I mean before you think i don’t worry for Rusly, i worry for him all the time. But with Nadya, it’s different. Really really different.

I love this feeling i have and i pray Allah will never take this away from me. ❤

IVF Journey, Uncategorized

Belaian Kasih

If you follow me on Social Media, i’ve mentioned about Belaian Kasih, an info-ed drama that’s aired every Wednesday and we’ll be on the upcoming episode, Episode 5!


We’ll be sharing about our IVF journey. Everything you need to know about IVF will be shared during that episode and Dr Jazlan will also give his input on that show.


Each time i get asked “what’s the common question you’ve received on IVF”
It’ll have to be how much does it cost. Many do not know IVF is heavily subsidized and i hope this show will cover on that because people need to know that!


I’ll see you next Wednesday at Suria, 9.00pm ok. It was really great having the production team around. From the pre-filming meeting to the filming day itself.

I’ve always been pretty open about IVF and willing to share more information about it so i hope you’ll watch it with me next wednesday! ❤

Nadya Raessa, Uncategorized

Say Mummy!

I’ve been trying so hard to make Nadya call me Mummy. To no avail. It’s always Mama-mama-mama. I mean i’ll give her A for effort ah but i won’t settle for Mama. Gotta be Mummy, honey.

So i’ve been saying Mummy-Mummy-Mummy repeatedly to her few weeks back and then she’s started calling me Bi instead. Until last week.
She called me Bubi. Which really really sounds like oink-oink obviously and she won’t stop calling me that!

The other day we went to Bukit Panjang Plaza and she wanted something from the display at the store and called out loud “Bubi!!!”. I swear the makcik in front of her looks so horrified! Mesti dia ingat aku ajar anak aku mencarut. I don’t know mana to sembunyikan muka aku seh.

From then on, each time Nadya calls me Bubi, i go “No… No..No.. it’s ok… Mama! Say Mama!” Kesian anak aku confused. Tak tau nak panggil mak dia apa.

Yes baby, Mama will do. Say Mamaaaaaaa.
Let’s forget the Bubi, shall we? Nanti dah besar sikit, i teach u again say Mummy ok.


Le Familia, Nadya Raessa, Our Little Family, Uncategorized

Eid Mubarak 2016

Selamat Hari Raya!

Wanted to draft this much much earlier but i was caught up with work & also trying to chillax a bit and catch up drama serials.

This Raya is our 2nd Raya with Nadya! Her 1st Raya, she was only 6mths old and it was easy peasy cos she was still in that sleepy stage. This year Raya is a circus! Hahaha

Now that Nadya can walk & move around on her own, we’ve decided not to hias the house so much. We left the cookie jar on the dining table and kept away the coffee table away.


Even then, she’ll panjat the chairs and try and reach for the cookies. Her favourites are the choc chip ones and honey cornflakes. Sometimes we’ll both sit on the couch, watch TV and eat the cookies from the cookie jar. hee


We wore Black for the 1st day and i love the baju kurung that Nadya wore! We got it from a Malaysian designer cos i forgot to make one for her in Black. Wthhhh.

Raya this year was quite disorientated for me cos of the Sampul Raya & Dear Raessa Raya collection which went well despite some hiccups! But yes, everything also last minute. I bought kuih from some random makcik stall 2 days before Raya because i forgot to order from the usual kakak. I miss her Cornflakes cookies seh!

Even Nadya’s baju raya was mostly the samples i made for Dear Raessa.
Then i see whichever yang fit her and also check Rusly’s baju raya inventory and then buy something that i can match. Jadilah kan.

I love how comfortable this Maroon Kurung is! So easy to move and by the 2nd Shawal, pretty obvious i tak kuasa to wear heels and wore my Fit Flops. I swear that thing is used to death.

It is not funny ok to try and run after your toddler with heels.
But at least this year we made do without a Diaper Bag besar nak mampos macam nak balik kampung. Last year we had to bring her milk formulas and lotsa diapers. Extra clothes lah, rattles lah. Eh macam khazanah lah.

Now that she’s on Fresh Milk Feed and she don’t ask for milk that much, we just buy Meiji Fresh Milk outside and serve it to her with a straw. So the only thing we bring are her diapers, wetwipes & waterbottle. Usually can fit in my own bag ah. Else i’ll get Rusly to bring the Jujube Quick. Lol.


2016 Family Picture with a new addition!
We’ll have another new family member next year cos my youngest sister is getting married next week! Actually ahhh… I think i haven’t even blogged about my 2nd sister wedding pun.

So many things to blog & document but no time!
But Selamat Hari Raya everyone. Would also like to take this opportunity to seek forgiveness for any unhappiness i’ve caused unintentionally. ❤


The Work-At-Home Momma

I’m a work-at-home mom and i know many would go “You’re so lucky. It’s the ideal arrangement.”

No it’s not. I’m telling you it’s not.

Just like being a SAHM or FTWM, we WAHM have our own guilt too. It does seem like we have the best of both worlds cos we get to earn money and see our kids throughout the day but really if you ask me, it’s the worst of both worlds.

It was horrendous the last 2 months. I was buried deep in work, mainly because of the Sampul Raya. I went all out this year and Alhamdulillah, it was a success. My bank account is fat & happy. Can’t say the same for Nadya though.

She knows i’m busy (and ignoring her) and it makes me feel really bad! Being a work at home mom means seeing lots of your child but ignoring them most of the time cos u have a deadline. It’s nice to be able to cuddle with her in the morning and not have to rush my shower so i can feed her breakfast before going to work etc.

But if only u can see the many times i had to get her off my lap cos she’s banging her little fingers on my keyboard. Or that time i had to lock myself in the room for a while cos she was screaming while i was on a call and i can’t hear a word the other party is saying cos i’m trying to figure out what she’s screaming for. Does she want milk? Or is it her naptime? Whaaaat it’s 2.00pm?! It’s her naptime! No wonder she’s screaming!

Or when she pulls my hands cos she wants me to play with her in the playpen and i had to reject the offer cos i’ve to submit an artwork by 4pm in order to make it for that day’s printing.

When i made that decision to work from home, ideally it would be to only work during her naptimes. But toddlers, they just don’t nap as much anymore!! You’ll be lucky if they can nap once in the day for 2-3 hours. I keep telling her “I’m sorry i have to work. Can u please play on your own?”

That’s like me telling her “Please just leave me the hell alone. I need to work.” I feel bad about it all the time. I just hope Nadya don’t grow up thinking that i don’t want to be with her cos i keep shutting her out. It’s really sad if you think about it. Having your mom constantly there but refusing to play with you. Aaargh. My poor girl.

Sometimes i do let go of everything i do and i can feel her trying as much as she can to get as much attention as she can get from me because she knows it won’t be long till i return to my laptop and finish up work or cook lunch & dinner.

I’m not saying that the FTWM have it easier. Yes you don’t get to see your child for most of the day and that sucks especially if you get back home late and it’s already their bedtime. But at least you don’t have to reply emails, handle clients with a child screaming for your attention at the back or chop2 make lunch just in time before they nap else they’ll miss their lunch and then get very cranky when they wake up. At least they get 1 hour of uninterrupted lunch and if you have an annoying colleague, you can tell them to go away and not feel as bad as telling your child to go away.

Being a SAHM is not easy too and it’s also tiring to be looking after your child all the time. I can feel them counting the hours to their nap times just so they can escape and have some me-time like go to the toilet without an audience for once! I mean just how much child-talk can u handle a day? Don’t forget about the mess they make! Oh God! But at least they don’t have deadlines. They don’t have to worry about unhappy clients. They don’t have to choose between work & their child. It’s the child all the way.

WAHM gotta choose. It’s between chasing deadlines or playing with your child. So the next time you see a WAHM, don’t tell them they have the best of both worlds. I can hear them screaming at the thought of it. There is no such thing as an ideal arrangement once you’re a mom.

At the end of the day, i just hope when Nadya is older, she remembers the day we went swimming. Or the finger painting exercise we did. That busy board i painstakingly did for her. The gym classes i sent her and the many laughs that we share.

Not the part where i constantly tell her to go away. Please don’t.
But if she does remember, i hope she’ll understand that i did it because i had to. Not because i want to.