First Trimester, IVF Cycle No 2, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

7 Weeks Pregnant

Today, i went for my 1st scan.
8.30am at Fetal Care Centre for the scan and then 10.00am at Clinic G for my review appt with the IVF Clinic.

2nd pregnancy and i’m still so nervous. Heck, even if it’s my 4th pregnancy pun, i think i’ll still be nervous seh. I went with an open mind but i’m secretly hoping for a singleton still cos i honestly don’t think i am capable of looking after twins, during & after pregnancy. But really, i’m just hoping for a viable pregnancy. Jangan lah tetiba scan & they find a blighted ovum ke chemical pregnancy ke. But Alhamdulillah, i saw the cute little fetus on screen with the blinking heartbeat. So emotional i cried.

Everything is going well so far and we’re having another singleton. Yayyyy!
I thought i was only 6 weeks but turns out to be 7 weeks and my EDD is set to be Jan 20 2018 which is a week after Nadya’s 3rd birthday. Another January baby! And so close to each other so boleh je save duit & celebrate birthday sama2. HAHAHAHA

It is also funny how things work out. When me & Rusly embarked on our TTC journey, we kinda agree on having our 2nd one at least 3yrs apart and really Allah plan cun-cun for us to have the 2nd one after Nadya turns 3. Sekali adik comes out before Nadya’s birthday ehh. Lol

My next appointment will be on my 12 weeks pregnancy for the down syndrome scan. Oh yeah luckily i called the Women’s Clinic way before the IVF started. Cos i heard the waitlist for Dr Citra is even longer now. I called them in April and only managed to get an appointment in September! Hahaha. But just nice ah. September would be my 20th weeks and i can just sign up for the maternity package from there & see Dr Citra for the rest of my pregnancy. Sticking with Dr Citra cos i’m comfortable with her & really think she’s great! Till the next update!

First Trimester, Pregnancy

a week to go!

A week to go till the end of my 1st trimester! Yaaaaay!
one more week to our doctor’s appointment + our Oscar Test to test for Down Syndrome etc.
Just doing it for assurance and because i’m already 30 and this is our 1st child. But to be honest, actually i cannot wait to see baby on the screen again and see how big it has grown so far. My last scan was at 8 weeks and that’s almost a month ago. I’m deprived of  seeing a tiny being on a black screen. Yes, i’m pathetic like that.

While i’m still in my 1st trimester, here’s an update of how it has been so far!

4 – 6 weeks: 
Generally just bloated but otherwise quite uneventful. I didn’t have any morning sickness but i remember having frequents headaches which will go away in an hour. Frequently happen in the morning though. Appetite was still good. Gained a kg but i think it was from the bloatedness.

7 – 8 weeks: 
Still no morning sickness although so many mummies in the Forum were complaining of morning sickness. Almost all of them and i was a bit paranoid why i wasn’t having any. My appetite was still good and i can still eat but the weight i gained was gone. I was slowly losing a bit of weight for some weird reason. Gynae told me it’s normal to lose weight in the 1st trimester and i’m surprised i could lose that weight because God knows how difficult it is for me to even shed one kg when i’m not pregnant! The headaches became more intense, especially if i accidentally skip breakfast. I will have fainting spells when i’m hungry and if it’s too hot. Most of the time, i’ll just drink soya bean or milk and it’ll stop.

9 – 11 weeks: 
I thought i might be one of those lucky ones who’s spared from Morning Sickness and then it came!
at 9 weeks it was pretty mild, i constantly had this “want to puke” feeling but i never did or maybe i psyched myself not to.
This usually happen after my meals. I’ll feel really queasy and u’ll see me all quiet after meals cos i was trying so hard not to puke.

At 10 weeks, i let it goooooooooo. Hahahaha
After meals, i’ll feel the queasiness again and straight to the toilet bowl i go and puke everything out. Thankfully this does not happen very often. It usually happen if i drink milk / eat chocolates etc or anything creamy in fact. I’ve started carrying sourplums with me.

I also have an aversion to smell of people cooking. Each time i smell my neighbour cooking or if i walk past Kopitiam, i puke.
Or everytime my food come and it’s piping hot and steamy, and i can smell it, i’ll feel like puking. My sense of smell has heightened to a whole new level.

Now,  i can’t even take the taxi and not want to puke. I had to ask taxi uncle if they are ok with me winding the window. I think i can’t stand sitting at the back of the car cos of the motion and all but i’m too paiseh to sit alone infront next to the taxi driver so i suck it up and sit behind. I’m ok when i sit in our own car though cos i sit at the passenger seat infront.

At 10 weeks, my appetite is slowly going away. I don’t feel like eating cos i fear i will throw up and i hate the smell of food.
While i do eat, because baby needs to eat anyway, i don’t finish up most of my food and i have this “can we get this done and over with” attitude towards food. Very sad one, because i love food seh.

My energy level has been really low at 10 weeks. I’m sleeping earlier than before, i take afternoon naps because i’m too tired and i have no mood to do work. Very tiring. I don’t know how people in their third trimester are coping.

My GP told me all these usually goes away around 14 weeks and i honestly cannot wait for the 2nd trimester because i want my energy back. Really feel very blah each time i’m too tired to do anything and i want to eat properly. I want to start cooking again and not feel like i wanna puke at the smell of food.

Met one of my girlfriend last week and she is in her last trimester, giving birth in 2 weeks time and she gave me this piece of advise.
“Do all your preparations for the baby in the 2nd trimester. That is when u have all the energy.”

She was busy with shifting house during her 2nd trimester and only got down to buying stuff for the baby in her last trimester and regretted it cos all she wanna do is get it done and over with. Hahaha

This should be really interesting. This few months down the road.
Looking forward to every milestones till the end!

First Trimester, IVF Journey, Pregnancy

IVF: Do’s & Don’ts

Quick update on my pregnancy! It’s 7th week tomorrow! So fast yet feels so slow.

We had our 1st Ultrasound scan last friday, in my 6th week. Was really nervous on that day.
You don’t know how paranoid i was the entire two weeks from my BFP to my 1st Ultrasound scan.
I didn’t have much symptoms. Got me quite worried and thinking if i’m really pregnant.
Even then, i was scared, what if it was a blighted ovum?

But all went well when we went for the Ultrasound Scan.
We did a trans vaginal scan and it was a bit painful. Doctor said the uterus area is very sensitive right now, which explains why it’s uncomfortable.
When i saw the flicker, i knew it was the heartbeat and i was overwhelmed with happiness.
I have a baby. A baby with a heartbeat. So so relieved.

Yes, we’re expecting a singleton! You know when we 1st did the transfer, i was hoping for twins. That would be really awesome. But nearer to the scan date, i think with all the jitters and all, i was hoping for a singleton.
I’m currently working from home and it would be really hard to take care of twins and work at home at the same time. If we indeed have twins, employing a domestic helper would be an option we have to take, reluctantly. But really, twins or singleton, i just hope the baby would grow up healthy.
Continue reading “IVF: Do’s & Don’ts”

First Trimester, IVF Journey, Pregnancy, Trying To Conceive


you know it’s still quite hard to believe that i’m pregnant.
Some of my Mother-In-Law’s friends were wishing me Happy Mother’s Day yesterday and hope i ‘sangkut’ with a child soon. They didn’t know yet about the little thing i’m carrying now.

No one has outrightly asked me how it feels like to be infertile and if i could explain it, it would be infertility is invisible.
You don’t lose anything. You don’t have visible scars nor will you die from it. But boy, it hurts.
Hurts so bad when you see numerous negative test results.
Hurts so bad when you see someone who just gave birth few months ago, got pregnant again.
Hurts so bad when everybody is celebrating Mother’s Day and all you have is that aching emptiness in your tummy.

And all you want is a child to hug you and smother you with kisses and tell you that they love you.
I know that emptiness. Too well.

When i found out i’m pregnant, i promised myself i will not complain excessively on the morning sickness, back pains and how i can’t fit into my pants. Neither will i be that annoying mom-to-be, stroking my tummy every minute in front of someone i know who’s dying to be a mom. Yes, while i deserve to be happy and blessed after all i’ve been through, i can’t shake off that feeling of being ‘lonely and hopeless’ away.  That feeling of despair, bitterness & heartbreak.

But i’m human. I might forget. I might accidentally gloat and i apologize in advance.
If you are still trying to conceive, please know i understand how you feel. I really do.