Oh Mother

Not sure if it’s the pregnancy hormones at work again. Sod it. Really, it is the pregnancy hormones at work again.
This morning, the mother called me to ask if i have kain batik at home for postpartum. I found it weird she’s asking me this so early. Afterall, we have another 2 months to go before i deliver.

and then i realized, no.. she doesn’t want to know the no of kain batik i have at home (which stands at zero actually because i hate kain batik). She just wanted to hear my voice and see if i’m ok because in between our conversation, she asked “kakak sihat?”

I cried when i put down the phone because i felt so overwhelmed with love. You know how mums always tell you “You’ll never know how your mom feels until u become one”

Well, technically i already am a mother? Just that my baby has not made an appearance. Yet.

I don’t know why i got so emotional this time round because she does call me time to time to ask how i’m doing and all but lately i’ve been pretty exhausted. Lack of sleep, a heavy tummy and an Energizer baby kicking all day long (does she not sleep?) It’s been pretty sucky with all these pain but an exciting period for me, each time i feel her move inside me knowing that we’ll be meeting soon. Each day, i wonder how she’ll look like, what’s her personality like and stuff like that.

I’m the first child in the family and i couldn’t help wondering, was this how my mum felt when she carried me many years ago? Uncertainty, excitement all rolled into one.

Did my mom wake up with hands on her tummy, just like me?
Did she spend her nights stroking her tummy to sleep, like me?

Only thing i’m sure, just like me, my mom is also counting down to the day we see this little girl and if anything, this pregnancy made me appreciate my mother a whole lot more.