It all happened so fast, before i knew it, we are a month away to the wedding. Sometimes, i take time to reflect a lot upon our relationship. As is the case with every women out there, i’ve wondered what made me so sure that he’s the one?
Is this relationship gonna work?
Why am i getting married to him? I mean, why him?
I don’t mean to suggest i’m having doubts about getting married. My fiance is an awesome guy. The fact that he is willing to put up with my overabundance of sometimes-shitty attitude is amazing, really.
Provided i don’t piss him off enough to justify homicide.
Yesterday night, lying sick on my bed, I thought of the times he see me au naturel sans all the makeup and truth be told, i never ever meet any of my ex-es without makeup. Yes, i was an insecure girl deep inside.
Although i know he loves it when i dress up for him and all, i know i am comfortable in my own skin to show him my naked face. It may seem such a meaningless thing.
But i’m the girl who is so used to hide behind all the gunks i put on my face to feel secure about myself.
This morning, i had an epiphany. Maybe this is what marriage is all about.
It’s about sharing moments of vulnerability. It’s about standing naked in front of another human being, for better and for worse, and saying,
“Yes, I am a human being. I’m not perfect. Sometimes I can be truly flawed and petty and ugly and sometimes kind of insensitive.”
It’s about learning to trust my partner, trusting that he can accept and love me in spite of all my ugliness.
This is a hell of a realization to have right now. Even now, as my wedding date looms over me, this is something that I am still getting used to and perhaps the single greatest thing in my life.
There is someone in this world with whom I can be entirely myself, without shame or apology. 🙂